from one fucked person to another
Do you think split personality order really exsists? Let me clarify:
I feel like there are two sides of me.
- There’s this person, who is cruel, almost evil, a bully. She’s only mean to me though. She has something out for me. She’s very abusive. I can’t stand her when she’s around. I can read her thoughts. I know everything she says about me and it’s never nice. I try to cover me ears so I don’t hear her, but that’s nearly impossible when she’s screaming in my head. What she says is very sad, she tells me I’m worthless and implants these thoughts into my head that everyone is out to get me and everyone is just using me. She tries to make me isloate myself. She makes me turn my back on people who are trying to push her out of me. She is me, she is controlling and she cannot be stopped.
The other side.
2. Me. Small. Voiceless. Chained. I can’t even remember her. She hates looking at old pictures because all it causes is pain. Whether is be pictures taken recently before she started her medication and wonders how the hell she is still alive today, or old ones when she was happy, because it will probably never be back. She screams and fights with the voices in her head: she is not always silent. There is still a pushing point for her when she is tired of being kicked. She loses everytime though because she is weak, and the other one is stronger, more powerful. She is me, I wish she would take control, but she will not stop fighting.
So. That’s what’s on my mind today. I’ll probably be punished for this later.